Debunking 10 Myths About Blindness

1. Blind people have supersonic hearing.
This is maybe true for some people. I can’t speak for all of my people. I personally feel like I have selective good hearing. If I am paying attention, the environment is just right, and it’s a Tuesday… I might have a little extra special hearing. Don’t even bother talking to me on Wednesday’s though.

2. Being blind means you can’t see a thing.
There are so many degrees of blindness. Some people identify as blind and they can still see. However, their vision could be as low as light perception only. Or, maybe the person can only see shadows. I have also met people that can’t see when they are in bright conditions. When I could still see, I had night blindness. Other people can only see using their peripheral vision. There is a definite grey area to blindness. It is not all darkness.

3. We all know Stevie Wonder.
You would not believe how many times someone wanted to know if the famous singer and I were buddies behind the scenes.

4. Just because I am blind does not mean I know every single blind person who has ever lived.
When my youngest daughter was in pre-school, I had a man come up to me and ask me if I knew *insert name*.
“No, does he have a kid that goes to this school?” I said a little confused. I should point out I had never been introduced to this guy one time.
He put a hand on my shoulder. “Oh no. He lives in Minnesota. I thought maybe because you were both blind…”

5. Not all blind people like to be touched by strangers.
Think back to the example I just gave in number four. When that guy touched my arm, I fully admit, it kind of creeped me out. I am not opposed to contact from other people. My problem was that I didn’t even know this guys name and yet he thought it would be a great idea to touch me. Another time I don’t like to be touched is in cases of my face. I can’t explain it. There is no real reason why. Ever since I lost my vision, I hate when someone randomly touches my face. They could be doing me a favor and getting a crumb off my cheek or a hair out of my eye. I appreciate it, but please tell me first. It saves me the awkward embarrassment of jerking back like I just got electrocuted.

6. No, I don’t want to touch your face.
This is a big one folks. In my experience in the blind community, it is extremely rare that you will find a blind person who wants to be introduced to you and get acquainted by giving your face a rub down. It’s no offense, but just yuck. I have yet to meet a blind person who does this. You know that expression, you don’t know where that has been? This kind of applies to that. It is no disrespect, but we don’t know if you are clean. We don’t know if you are greasy. You could have a poor complexion problem. You could have an open wound on your face. We also wouldn’t want to accidentally recruit you by poking you in the eye. There is just so many reasons why this is just not a good thing. Please, for the love of all blind people, just shake our hand.

7. Yes, I can hear you.
While it is true that some blind people are also deaf; this is not true for all of us. Even still, I can recall on several occasions where someone yelled at me rather than just speaking. Once, I asked a person why they were yelling. I am not kidding here… they actually told me that they did so because I was blind.

8. Blindness does not mean that I am a baby.
People mean well. I don’t in any way think that this is done out of malice for most people. Frequently however, I have had many people talk to me as though I am five years old. I’m not sure what it is about my cane. Sometimes though, it brings out the baby talk more than child-birth.

9. It is alright to talk directly to the blind person in front of you.
I believe this one happens because people are not sure how to act around a blind person. This is nothing against them at all. For instance, I come from a small town. This means that the blind population is not very big. This in turn means that people have little to no exposure to my people. Consequently, this means that sometimes the awkward interaction occurs. It sometimes goes something like this…
“Store Clerk: “Can I help you?” Their eye-contact is held with the sighted person beside me.
Me: “Yes, can you help me find *insert item*”
Store Clerk: Again, looking at my friend. “Does she know what color she wants?”
My friend: “I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask her?”
Unfortunately, this happens a lot. Again, I don’t think they are trying to ignore me. I just don’t think they quite know what to do about the whole blindness thing.

10. Blind people can’t do anything productive.
HA!!! This one is hilarious to me. Blind people are capable of doing so many things. We have jobs. We are athletes. We are parents. We are writers. We are musicians. We are volunteers. I have met so many amazing blind people over the years. Some of them impress me to the point of WOW! I have met blind people who go skiing and sky-diving. I have met blind lawyers. My husband is a blind drummer. There are blind Chefs and actors. There are blind people in the Government and politics. There was a blind person who played college football at one point or another. And the list goes on and on… Blindness is just a part of us. We can almost do anything a sighted person can do.

Thanks for reading.

There is more that could have made the list. Maybe there will be a second edition, so keep your eye out. If you are blind, what would be on your list? Visit the Facebook page and right yours in the comments for this post. If you are sighted, please don’t think I am bashing the way you do or don’t interact with blind people. I am fully aware that the vast majority do not mean to be offensive or hurtful. This post was done like most of my list posts are… to entertain and bring a little humor to the subject of blindness. As I have said a million times, blindness is not the end of the world. It is okay to laugh at experiences. It is even better to talk about them. In fact, that is how people learn.

Insane Questions For The Blind

In talking to new friends in the blind community, I've come across some funny questions asked by the uninformed. These are just some of the few that I thought would make you smile.

1. How do you eat?

2. How do you have sex?

3. How do you go to the bathroom?

4. More specifically, how do you wipe your butt?

5. Are you just faking for attention?

6. How do you parent your child if you're blind?

7. Where are your sunglasses?

8. Do you know Steevie Wonder?

9. How do you walk?

10. How many fingers am I holding up?

11. What color is my hand?

12. Can you see me?

13. How do you read?

Though I could pick apart all of these for a million paragraphs, diagraming exactly why they are rediculous... I won't, at least not right now. That would be for another post on another day. For now, just join me and laugh at some of the silly things that blind people have been asked.

PS... please keep in mind that these questions were mostly asked by full grown adults... and then laugh a little harder

Moments That Leave You Speachless

1. When a child innocently asks you "did you just see that?" You want to be polite so you just smile and say yes. Without hesitation they utter their confused responce, "But you can't see."

2. When you tell the store clerk you need help with your debit card because your blind. Instead of acting normal, they panic and start yelling "OF ... COURSE... I... CAN... HELP... YOU!!!" They speak loud, slow and with far two much lip action because of course you are blind, so you must be deaf too.

3. When you five year olds draws a picture of you and makes sure to draw you with glasses so that you will be able to see.

4. That moment when your sitting in an appointment, realize you have to pee something fierce, excuse yourself, then jump up and rush out of the room forgetting you're blind. By the way, this is usally followed by a trip and stumble over a chair or other object. Not to mention the all too mortifying slam into the wall.

5. When driving with your Gram, someone jumps out of their car to charge at beloved Gram on a road raging rampage. Again for getting your blind, you in turn jump out of the car to rush at him and handle the situation. (This actually happened to me and will be explained in a future "Did That Really Just Happen?" post)

These are of course just a few speachless rendering little moments. I have tons and will continue to share them with you. I would love to hear yours. Please leave them in the comment section or shoot me a private email. I will collect responces and add them into future lists.

Did That Really Just Happen 4

I haven’t had a Did That Really Just Happen moment in a while. I happened to have such an experience on Peanuts second day of school. I never would have expected an incident there, but what can you do? It just goes to show these things can happen anywhere.

I was there with my mom, dropping little Miss Peanut off in the morning. The first thing they do before breakfast is circle time. After this activity, the kids are directed to go and wash their hands before meal time.

Mom and I were just getting ready to leave when someone approached. “He,” a soft voice said.

I could tell it was an older man. I didn’t recognize the voice and had no idea who it was. “Hi,” I sounded a little unsure than intended, but the man didn’t seem to notice.

“Do you know the Crunks?” He seemed very hopeful, though his voice was barely above a whisper.

I searched my memory bank high and low. The name didn’t ring a bell at all. “No,” I replied. “Do they have a child in this class?” Stupidly, I found myself looking around for the Crunk family as if I could pick them out of a crowd. This was ridiculous on so many levels. Even if I had known who the Crunks were (which I didn’t), then I wouldn’t have been able to see them. So scanning the room was a pointless effort.

“No, they live on the east coast,” he said, dead serious. “I used to live there too. They had a son who was blind.”

“Oh,” I responded a little confused. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah, he was a nice kid. I thought maybe you two might know each other.”

Trying hard not to laugh I said, “Nope, sorry. Well, me and my mom are leaving now. I’ll see you later.”

He made his goodbyes since he was leaving too. He never said anything else about the Crunk family and left me more than a little baffled.

Why is it that some people assume that because you’re blind you must know every single blind person in the world? lol I wonder if the same rule applies to the deaf community. I didn’t react rude to this because it wasn’t ill intended. Some people just genuinely think this is how it works. I thought this was really cute. It used to happen a lot more often, but I haven’t experienced it in a while.

Has this ever happened to you? If so tell me about it in the comment section of this post. I am also looking for guest posters for this blog. If you have a funny Did That Really Just Happen moment and it’s too long to put in a comment, send me a message and set up a guest post. I’d love to have you. Just use the contact link on this page or leave me your email in the contact section.

Craig Campbell Rocks The Show

Going to a concert when you are blind isn’t as bad as one might think. I recently took my oldest daughter Princess to a Craig Campbell concert. He is an amazing country singer that really knows how to entertain.

Firstly, it is a music concert so of course the blind would benefit. They have extra good hearing and can appreciate the quality of sound coming from the massive speakers.

Secondly, even though some entertainers do dance and run around the stage, seeing the activity isn’t necessary for enjoying the show. Most singers also banter in between songs and whether you are blind or sighted that can be really fun.

In Craig’s case, he has an awesome sense of humor and kept the crowd laughing in between the several songs that he played for us.

Another great thing about going to a live show is that you get to sometimes hear music that hasn’t yet been released. It’s kind of a sneak peak into the future. In this case, the new songs that Craig performed for us were amazing. He has a wicked good voice and a dead sexy speaking voice.

Because it was a show at a fair, Craig stayed behind afterward to sign autographs. I don’t just mean a few either. He stayed until every last person got something signed and took a picture with him that wanted one. How exhausting. I don’t know how he does it. He performs for a couple of hours standing pretty much the entire time and then stands for another couple of hours doing a meet and greet. What a devoted performer!

I had a very memorable experience when it got to be my turn with the country star. I will never forget it and my friends and family are still laughing about it and the concert was a few weeks ago. I will be posting the full story on Nicole Rae’s Blog and you will be able to find it HERE

Yes, I know it’s kind of a teaser, but hey, that’s what I live for. If you take the plunge and hop over there sign up to be a follower and then you will be notified when the hilarious Craig Campbell experience is posted for your viewing pleasure.

Thanks for reading and remember… “When life’s got you down, keep your head up… you can’t see the ground anyway.”

The Skinny On The Real Blind Date

I don’t really see what all the fuss is about with a blind date. Sure you don’t really know the person but so what. You don’t know the cashier that rings up your groceries either. You don’t lose any sleep or sweat profusely at the thought of telling him or her your name do you? Well, maybe you do but that’s probably to do with an entirely different problem.

When a blind person goes on a date every date is a blind date. They don’t know what the person looks like or whether or not they are wearing pink bunny slippers with a flannel shirt and nothing else. They can’t see that when the person smiles in greeting they are really revealing a mouth full of nothing but gums. They do not know if the person has a gnarly cold soar before they come in for the kiss at the end of the night. They can not see when they motion for the water to give you an extra shot in your drink. Supposedly, everything looks better in the dark, but that isn’t always a comforting thought if your lights can’t be turned back on in the morning.

Voices can be very deceiving. Sometimes a voice sounds like the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Don’t be fooled! Just because someone sounds like Edward from Twilight doesn’t mean they actually resemble so much as his big toe. A person who sounds identical to Jenna Jameson might be better compared to your Schnauzer. It’s quite possible you are in the middle of a nightmare with a face not even a mother would love.

This is not to say that this should discourage you. After all you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover right? Just because someone isn’t your type doesn’t mean they can’t be your soul mate. When you are blind it’s easier to get to know someone for who they are and not how dazzling their blue eyes look in the moon light. A blind person has to realize that their entire definition of “type” needs to be altered to allow for new possibilities.

Maybe more sighted people should close their eyes when meeting someone new. The main problem is things aren’t always how they appear and the first time you touch your date you might be unpleasantly surprised. Running away screaming isn’t a good option when this happens. Don’t forget you can always peak. So the next time you’re nervous about your big blind date remember…

There’s always someone out there with a worse plight then you. Just suck it up and take a chance. At least you can see to make a smooth escape if things don’t go as planned.

If you liked this post please use the links below to share it with your friends. Be sure to subscribe to Playing the Blind Card to receive updates via Email when future posts are published. If you have any horrible blind date stories whether you’re blind or sighted please share them in the comment section of this post. I also have another blog at http://www.authornicolerae.blogspot.com where you can read a description of my upcoming book Clandestine Slayer Saga Book 1.

Helping To Teach Tolerance

One good aspect of being the only blind member in your family is your ability to teach tolerance. It’s the perfect way for a “normal” person to have positive interactions with a disabled person. Most of all problems start from lack of knowledge. Having a disabled person in the family is a chance to learn that different is beautiful.

Many people react strongly when face to face with someone who is different than what they are used to. For some it’s hard to even approach a disabled person. They may even give them a wide birth and simply stare from a distance. Unfortunately, there is a multitude of complications with this reaction. First, by not approaching the person you may be missing out on a meaningful interaction that could form a long lasting friendship. Second, the person you’re staring at probably is well aware of the fact that you are staring at them. Third, you’re missing out on a chance to answer your own inquiries about the type of disability the person has.

Another common reaction is to treat the disabled person as though they are not mentally capable of holding an intelegent conversation/dialogue. For example: It’s never necessary to treat a thirty year old blind man as though he has the mental capacity of a three year old. All this will cause is a negative response from the person you’re attempting to interact with. The only incidence you should talk to a person as though they are a child is if they are one.
If you see a blind person (or any other type of disabled person) don’t be afraid to approach them. They wont bite, at least not mormaly. If you like their shirt tell them. If you have a question ask it of them. If asked appropriately the question will more than likely receive a positive reaction and maybe you will learn something about the person in the process. The only dumb question is the one you didn’t ask. I myself would much rather have someone ask me a question about my blindness then have them sit there and stare at me wondering silently.

When a disabled person is in your family that allows you to have normal day to day interactions with that person. It unconsciously teaches you that there’s a person behind the disability. They are not just a label from a pigeon hole stereotype. They have feelings, thoughts, opinions and knowledge that are valuable if just given the chance to express them. Instead of saying “this is my cousin Nikki and she’s blind”, maybe you’ll learn to say “this is my cousin Nikki and she’s a funny, intelegent wonderful person who just happens to be blind”. A disability is a very small part of someone. It is in no way, shape, or form the defining factor of their character.

A wonderful example of learned tolerance from my own life is that of my niece. She has grown up with a blind auntie pretty much all of her life. She has never known me with sight at least that she remembers. I lost my sight when she was far to young to have a strong recollection of me being able to see her.

When she was barely in grade school she was faced with a blind classmate that was in her grade. None of her other classmates played with the blind girl and she was always alone at recess other than her helper. A lot of the kids stared and whispered about her and rarely talked to her directly.

This of course changed with my niece. She was used to being around me, so she knew the right way to interact and assist a blind person. She took it apon herself to talk to the girl and get to know her. She assisted her when needed without doing so in a mocking way. They became good friends both at school and outside of it. My niece didn’t allow a small difference to influence her decision to make a knew friend. I am very proud of her for taking the chance and going against the grain.

If more people took this stand in life it would be a much more tolerant place for all. Difference IS beautiful and knowledge IS power. I challenge my readers to make an effort to connect with a person they would otherwise not interact with. I promise the result will be worth it and will have a meaningful impact on your life.

PS… I apologize for referring to the girl in my example as “the blind girl”. This was in no way intended to go against my advice and place a label on her. I don’t like to name names in my stories and it was simply a method of differentiating her in the story for clarification purposes only.