Debunking 10 Myths About Blindness

1. Blind people have supersonic hearing.
This is maybe true for some people. I can’t speak for all of my people. I personally feel like I have selective good hearing. If I am paying attention, the environment is just right, and it’s a Tuesday… I might have a little extra special hearing. Don’t even bother talking to me on Wednesday’s though.

2. Being blind means you can’t see a thing.
There are so many degrees of blindness. Some people identify as blind and they can still see. However, their vision could be as low as light perception only. Or, maybe the person can only see shadows. I have also met people that can’t see when they are in bright conditions. When I could still see, I had night blindness. Other people can only see using their peripheral vision. There is a definite grey area to blindness. It is not all darkness.

3. We all know Stevie Wonder.
You would not believe how many times someone wanted to know if the famous singer and I were buddies behind the scenes.

4. Just because I am blind does not mean I know every single blind person who has ever lived.
When my youngest daughter was in pre-school, I had a man come up to me and ask me if I knew *insert name*.
“No, does he have a kid that goes to this school?” I said a little confused. I should point out I had never been introduced to this guy one time.
He put a hand on my shoulder. “Oh no. He lives in Minnesota. I thought maybe because you were both blind…”

5. Not all blind people like to be touched by strangers.
Think back to the example I just gave in number four. When that guy touched my arm, I fully admit, it kind of creeped me out. I am not opposed to contact from other people. My problem was that I didn’t even know this guys name and yet he thought it would be a great idea to touch me. Another time I don’t like to be touched is in cases of my face. I can’t explain it. There is no real reason why. Ever since I lost my vision, I hate when someone randomly touches my face. They could be doing me a favor and getting a crumb off my cheek or a hair out of my eye. I appreciate it, but please tell me first. It saves me the awkward embarrassment of jerking back like I just got electrocuted.

6. No, I don’t want to touch your face.
This is a big one folks. In my experience in the blind community, it is extremely rare that you will find a blind person who wants to be introduced to you and get acquainted by giving your face a rub down. It’s no offense, but just yuck. I have yet to meet a blind person who does this. You know that expression, you don’t know where that has been? This kind of applies to that. It is no disrespect, but we don’t know if you are clean. We don’t know if you are greasy. You could have a poor complexion problem. You could have an open wound on your face. We also wouldn’t want to accidentally recruit you by poking you in the eye. There is just so many reasons why this is just not a good thing. Please, for the love of all blind people, just shake our hand.

7. Yes, I can hear you.
While it is true that some blind people are also deaf; this is not true for all of us. Even still, I can recall on several occasions where someone yelled at me rather than just speaking. Once, I asked a person why they were yelling. I am not kidding here… they actually told me that they did so because I was blind.

8. Blindness does not mean that I am a baby.
People mean well. I don’t in any way think that this is done out of malice for most people. Frequently however, I have had many people talk to me as though I am five years old. I’m not sure what it is about my cane. Sometimes though, it brings out the baby talk more than child-birth.

9. It is alright to talk directly to the blind person in front of you.
I believe this one happens because people are not sure how to act around a blind person. This is nothing against them at all. For instance, I come from a small town. This means that the blind population is not very big. This in turn means that people have little to no exposure to my people. Consequently, this means that sometimes the awkward interaction occurs. It sometimes goes something like this…
“Store Clerk: “Can I help you?” Their eye-contact is held with the sighted person beside me.
Me: “Yes, can you help me find *insert item*”
Store Clerk: Again, looking at my friend. “Does she know what color she wants?”
My friend: “I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask her?”
Unfortunately, this happens a lot. Again, I don’t think they are trying to ignore me. I just don’t think they quite know what to do about the whole blindness thing.

10. Blind people can’t do anything productive.
HA!!! This one is hilarious to me. Blind people are capable of doing so many things. We have jobs. We are athletes. We are parents. We are writers. We are musicians. We are volunteers. I have met so many amazing blind people over the years. Some of them impress me to the point of WOW! I have met blind people who go skiing and sky-diving. I have met blind lawyers. My husband is a blind drummer. There are blind Chefs and actors. There are blind people in the Government and politics. There was a blind person who played college football at one point or another. And the list goes on and on… Blindness is just a part of us. We can almost do anything a sighted person can do.

Thanks for reading.

There is more that could have made the list. Maybe there will be a second edition, so keep your eye out. If you are blind, what would be on your list? Visit the Facebook page and right yours in the comments for this post. If you are sighted, please don’t think I am bashing the way you do or don’t interact with blind people. I am fully aware that the vast majority do not mean to be offensive or hurtful. This post was done like most of my list posts are… to entertain and bring a little humor to the subject of blindness. As I have said a million times, blindness is not the end of the world. It is okay to laugh at experiences. It is even better to talk about them. In fact, that is how people learn.

The good, The Bad, And The Ugly

No matter how positive a person is, it’s impossible to be optimistic all the time. Lately, I admit, I have been having the less than positive attitude. Don’t get me wrong, things are great.

Book stuff is wonderful and friends and family life is alive and kicking. The second situation is the reason for my slight state of dismay.

Having two beautiful daughters is the best part of my life. I would not change a single moment of it, even when I want to pull my hair out. Sometimes, one of them will do something adorable or new. I am elated for the newest milestone, but regret still floods my heart.

It’s a deep ache that stabs me all the way deep in my gut. My eyes start to sting and a lump forms in my throat. Sometimes, just being able to hear the even isn’t good enough.

Though I’m still happy it’s happened, I long to observe it for myself. Other people’s descriptions are great and much appreciated. It’s just not the same.

When Peanut started school, I was so happy for her. She was beyond excited and I don’t think her head left the clouds the entire morning. A genuine smile was plastered across my face. Inside, just inside, I was enveloped in a strenuous pity party.

It didn’t seem fair that I couldn’t see my baby at her first circle time, or doing the hand motions with her classmates to new songs. When she made her first new friend of the long school year, I couldn’t see the dimples on her cheeks as she smiled. When she played on the playground and rode in a wagon, I couldn’t see it for myself.

Am I usually down in the dumps about my situation? Nope, not at all. However, I feel it’s necessary to share everything with you, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The whole point of this blog is to shed a new light on the subject of blindness. I wanted to show people that there is a brighter side to the disability. Nevertheless, it is equally important to show the reality of the bad moments. Though they may be few and far between for me, they might not be for someone else.

To be able to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you have to first see all angles of how they fit. So, that’s what this post is about. My shoes fit great, but sometimes there’s a lump in my sock that makes me uncomfortable for a minute.

A Little About My New Project And A Little About Clandestine

I just got back from camping today and it’s been a very productive writing day. My kids have been absorbed in activities that they haven’t been able to do much in the last week or so which has allowed me to be very efficient with my latest project.

I am super excited about it because the main character of this one is a totally blind person. It isn’t as easy as you would think to write a character like that. Sure I can’t see so I can easily get into the person’s head to write them that’s true. But a reader (especially a sighted reader) wants description. A blind reader wants description too but for a different reason. I live by the saying that an audio book is a blind person’s television. This is because you don’t miss anything when you read like you do when you listen to your favorite show or movie.

Anyway as always I’m veering off track. In order to make a blind main character work affectively I have decided to make her someone who became blind rather than someone who was born that way. She has only been blind for a year so she is still in the stage where she is pretty much a Debbie Downer on the subject. It hasn’t dawned on her yet in the book that blindness isn’t the end of the world.

I went through a lot of mixed emotions when I lost my sight. I have also had gobs of people ask what that was like and how it felt. I thought it would be a good element to add to the story of such a multi faceted character.

The book is still in the beginning stages so I don’t want to give away much but I will tell you that I’m only at chapter 4 and I’m already falling in love with it. Don’t get me wrong I love Clandestine too but in an entirely different way. The Bound In Blood series is fun to write and I have put a lot into it. But with this project I’ve really delved into my soul and put a piece of my soul into it.

I hope you adore this story as much as I do. I am unsure yet if it will be a series but can definitely see the potential for one with the plot that is unraveling.

I promise to keep you up to date on that and also with the second book in the Bound In Blood series Divinity whenever possible. I know I have been neglecting my blogs lately and for that I’m sorry, I truly am. But its summer time so both kids are home full time, we’ve been camping a bunch and also been devoted to the new books I’m working on coupled with getting Clandestine out for your viewing pleasure.

There have been a lot of questions about whether or not Clandestine will be made into an audio book. When it is released it will only be available in print and EBook. BUT I promise that an audio version will be made available as soon as that is possible. Unfortunately, the production of an audio book is very expensive. I looked into hiring a narrator but the cheapest I have found is five hundred dollars and right now that is just not an option for me. That is definitely one down side to self publishing, accessible formats take a while if they come at all.

I have been looking into finding someone I know read it for me but that isn’t as easy as it looks either. I have to be sure the person has the right quality and tone to their voice to portray Emily as well as the rest of the slayer gang. It will be done I promise. I’m just not sure when.

I will write again soon and let you know how things are going. PS… I will be posting this same post on both my blogs so all of you will be equally informed.

Canes and Stones May Break My Bones but CarPorts Are really Embarrasing!

The first time I learned to walk with a cane I had to do so blind folded because I still had sight. My Mobility instructor explained that it was necessary so that I would learn to trust myself. I was leery but I did what I was told.

She was a very nice and capable instructor named JoAnne from the Washington State department of Services for the Blind (DSB). This is an amazing organization for blind and visually impaired adults to get acquainted with resources and assistance in learning skills to help with every day living. Most have a similar organization so do a quick internet search to find one in your area.

Before I get started with my first experience with cane travel I should probably mention that I lived in a neighborhood at the time that had absolutely no sidewalks. This definitely made the task a more cumbersome and intimidating adventure but an adventure none the less.

I picked up the basics fairly quickly and was feeling pretty good about myself. Even though I wanted to peak under the blind fold but I never did. JoAnne made it perfectly clear that if I got into a bind she was going to refrain from helping me unless I was about to do harm to myself or someone else.

It had been smooth sailing for the most part though so I really wasn’t too worried. After all, how hard could walking around the block in my own childhood neighborhood really be? The answer to that question… apparently very hard…

So I’m walking along talking back and forth with JoAnne thinking I’ve got the whole blind thing pretty locked. I didn’t even notice that JoAnne’s voice was getting further and further away from me. In fact, I didn’t notice there was even a problem until my cane hit something metal.

I instantly started to panic. I was walking on a road that was a straight shot with no metal anywhere on the road. There was absolutely no reason for me to have hit something like that. I stepped forward to examine the obstacle with my hand.

With in a second I realized I was touching what had to be a garage door. During this time JoAnne still hadn’t said a word. Completely lost and totally confused I turned around and her for some help.

She asked me where I thought I was. I of course said that I was in front of a garage. She then asked me I noticed about the way my voice sounded. I started to tell her I didn’t know what she meant when I noticed that my voice was echoing.

As I came to this conclusion she walked to me and slipped off the blind fold so I could see the pickle I had worked myself in. I had managed to veer off like a wobbly shopping cart into someone’s driveway. I narrowly missed hitting their parked car and went into their car port, which is of course why my voice had been echoing.

To make matters worse the owner of the home was standing in a pathway next to the driveway where I was standing holding a bag of garbage. He had clearly witnessed the entire debacle.

I later found out that when JoAnne noticed what I was doing and she saw the man she held a finger to her lips. He being a good sport played along while a complete blind folded stranger wandered onto his property. I was positively mortified. I was mad at myself for not being able to walk a straight line successfully. JoAnne didn’t let me stay down for long though, she assured me it was normal in the beginning and I would get better. The best course of action now would be to teach me how to get myself out of the predicament without losing my directional course.

Now ten years later I know though to pick up on audible clues to help me understand my surroundings more clearly. I know that it’s okay to feel confident and engage in conversation while walking but its imperative that I still pay close attention to what I am doing. I will never forget JoAnne and the things she taught me and appreciate every minute she took to make sure I learned to be a safe traveler.

If you are learning how to use a cane don’t give up. It can be overwhelming and at times even a little scary but it’s worth it in the end I promise. It will give you independence and after a while you will start to feel naked without it. Just be patient and learn to laugh when you make mistakes because it’s normal and not the end of the world.

If you have any funny, embarrassing or informative stories to share on the subject please feel free to leave them in the comment section under this post. If you just have too much to say contact me and we can work out the possibility of you doing a guest post for this blog.

Thanks for reading and remember… When life’s got you down keep you head up, you can’t see the ground anyway.

Dreaming Blind

Everyone dreams whether they remember them or not is another story. The images depicted during sleep depend on the person who develops them. I was recently askedhow a blind person dreams? Does a person who is born blind have different dreams from someone who became blind?

The answers are simple. Blind people dream just like a sighted person. The only difference is the types of dreams that they have. Just as no two people are the same, neither are their dreams. Dreams are based on thoughts, memories and experiences.

That being said, it would obviously be difficult for a person who has been blind since birth to dream images. They do not have any visual memories or experiences to draw from. This is not to say that they are incapable of having a dream. It has been said that some people have what is called an auditory dream. This means the person dreams in sounds and voices. The dream will exhibit scenarios based on the dreamers experiences but in an all audio format with no pictures.

As for people who became blind later in life, their dreams depend on at what age they lost their sight. For example, a person who lost their sight at age fifty are going to have more visual experiences to draw from then a person who lost their sight at age five.

Personally, I dream as though I were still sighted. My sight really started to decline at age twenty. My sight in the waking hours was limited at best. In dreamland though my dreams have always been vivid and clear as crystal. The only time I don’t see things properly in my dreams is when I’m picturing something or someone that I’ve never actually seen. If I’m dreaming about a person they might have blurry features but are still present visually in some form or another. Sometimes my mind even makes up their appearance but what I think they might look like. Sometimes, I get this right other times the person looks the exact opposite of what I imagined.

I’m glad I dream so vividly. It gives me the opportunity to see faces and places I would have otherwise forgotten. It keeps me aquainted with the things that are most important to me. This way when the genious’s of the medical world invent a cure for my eye condition. Although, I do admit that I am slightly worried about this. People aren’t going to look just as I remember them. I wonder if I will even recognize certain people.

If you are a blind person reading this how do you dream? If you became blind later in life are your dreams different from when you could see? If you are sighted, what do you think you would miss the most if you only had auditory dreams?

If you have thoughts to these questions please log them in the comment section of this post. Also, feel free to ask any questions of your own. If I can’t answer them maybe one of the visually impaired readers wouldn’t mind fielding it.

As always thanks for reading.