The good, The Bad, And The Ugly

No matter how positive a person is, it’s impossible to be optimistic all the time. Lately, I admit, I have been having the less than positive attitude. Don’t get me wrong, things are great.

Book stuff is wonderful and friends and family life is alive and kicking. The second situation is the reason for my slight state of dismay.

Having two beautiful daughters is the best part of my life. I would not change a single moment of it, even when I want to pull my hair out. Sometimes, one of them will do something adorable or new. I am elated for the newest milestone, but regret still floods my heart.

It’s a deep ache that stabs me all the way deep in my gut. My eyes start to sting and a lump forms in my throat. Sometimes, just being able to hear the even isn’t good enough.

Though I’m still happy it’s happened, I long to observe it for myself. Other people’s descriptions are great and much appreciated. It’s just not the same.

When Peanut started school, I was so happy for her. She was beyond excited and I don’t think her head left the clouds the entire morning. A genuine smile was plastered across my face. Inside, just inside, I was enveloped in a strenuous pity party.

It didn’t seem fair that I couldn’t see my baby at her first circle time, or doing the hand motions with her classmates to new songs. When she made her first new friend of the long school year, I couldn’t see the dimples on her cheeks as she smiled. When she played on the playground and rode in a wagon, I couldn’t see it for myself.

Am I usually down in the dumps about my situation? Nope, not at all. However, I feel it’s necessary to share everything with you, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The whole point of this blog is to shed a new light on the subject of blindness. I wanted to show people that there is a brighter side to the disability. Nevertheless, it is equally important to show the reality of the bad moments. Though they may be few and far between for me, they might not be for someone else.

To be able to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you have to first see all angles of how they fit. So, that’s what this post is about. My shoes fit great, but sometimes there’s a lump in my sock that makes me uncomfortable for a minute.

Blind Characters Are Fun To Write

As some of you may already know I am working on a Young Adult Paranormal novel that will be out this summer. It is called Clandestine and is the first book in the Slayer Saga series. It has been very fun to write and I hope that everyone likes it.

One thing you might not know is that Clandestine has a blind character. Her name is Lucy and she is an amazing person. She has a perky bubbly personality that you can’t help but fall in love with.

In Clandestine she doesn’t have a huge role in the story. There is enough of her though that you will be left wanting more and more of Lucy. In the second book Divinity however, she plays a bigger part of the supernatural tale. I am having a blast writing Lucy’s part in Divinity. I have seen few books that have a blind character as a main character. Thanks to my own personal experiences it’s easy to write a blind character.

During Clandestine, Emily Jameson (the main character) suspects that her best friend may be either just freakishly intuitive or possibly even psychic. She doesn’t put a lot of stock in the latter option because she honestly doesn’t believe much in the whole prospect of telepathy, the supernatural or in magic in general.

At least that’s true until she’s violently shoved into the underworld when her small little town is taken over by vampires. These ones aren’t the teen dream though. They aren’t vegetarians and don’t sparkle in the sunlight. They are carnivorous creatures with an unquenchable thirst for the blood of Lakeview’s residents.

Can the blood suckers be stopped before the town is completely drained of life? Don’t let everyone else find out first! Pick up your copy of Clandestine as soon as it’s released. For more information and a chance to read the blurb about Clandestine visit my other blog at http://www.authornicolerae.blogspot.com

You can also find a link directly to the site on this page under the heading Visit My Other Sites. Please sign up to follow that blog as well as this one if you haven’t already. Help spread the words to all your friends and fellow readers by sharing this post and the ones from the other blog on Facebook, Twitter and in any other way you can.

Thanks for all your support and happy reading.

Helping To Teach Tolerance

One good aspect of being the only blind member in your family is your ability to teach tolerance. It’s the perfect way for a “normal” person to have positive interactions with a disabled person. Most of all problems start from lack of knowledge. Having a disabled person in the family is a chance to learn that different is beautiful.

Many people react strongly when face to face with someone who is different than what they are used to. For some it’s hard to even approach a disabled person. They may even give them a wide birth and simply stare from a distance. Unfortunately, there is a multitude of complications with this reaction. First, by not approaching the person you may be missing out on a meaningful interaction that could form a long lasting friendship. Second, the person you’re staring at probably is well aware of the fact that you are staring at them. Third, you’re missing out on a chance to answer your own inquiries about the type of disability the person has.

Another common reaction is to treat the disabled person as though they are not mentally capable of holding an intelegent conversation/dialogue. For example: It’s never necessary to treat a thirty year old blind man as though he has the mental capacity of a three year old. All this will cause is a negative response from the person you’re attempting to interact with. The only incidence you should talk to a person as though they are a child is if they are one.
If you see a blind person (or any other type of disabled person) don’t be afraid to approach them. They wont bite, at least not mormaly. If you like their shirt tell them. If you have a question ask it of them. If asked appropriately the question will more than likely receive a positive reaction and maybe you will learn something about the person in the process. The only dumb question is the one you didn’t ask. I myself would much rather have someone ask me a question about my blindness then have them sit there and stare at me wondering silently.

When a disabled person is in your family that allows you to have normal day to day interactions with that person. It unconsciously teaches you that there’s a person behind the disability. They are not just a label from a pigeon hole stereotype. They have feelings, thoughts, opinions and knowledge that are valuable if just given the chance to express them. Instead of saying “this is my cousin Nikki and she’s blind”, maybe you’ll learn to say “this is my cousin Nikki and she’s a funny, intelegent wonderful person who just happens to be blind”. A disability is a very small part of someone. It is in no way, shape, or form the defining factor of their character.

A wonderful example of learned tolerance from my own life is that of my niece. She has grown up with a blind auntie pretty much all of her life. She has never known me with sight at least that she remembers. I lost my sight when she was far to young to have a strong recollection of me being able to see her.

When she was barely in grade school she was faced with a blind classmate that was in her grade. None of her other classmates played with the blind girl and she was always alone at recess other than her helper. A lot of the kids stared and whispered about her and rarely talked to her directly.

This of course changed with my niece. She was used to being around me, so she knew the right way to interact and assist a blind person. She took it apon herself to talk to the girl and get to know her. She assisted her when needed without doing so in a mocking way. They became good friends both at school and outside of it. My niece didn’t allow a small difference to influence her decision to make a knew friend. I am very proud of her for taking the chance and going against the grain.

If more people took this stand in life it would be a much more tolerant place for all. Difference IS beautiful and knowledge IS power. I challenge my readers to make an effort to connect with a person they would otherwise not interact with. I promise the result will be worth it and will have a meaningful impact on your life.

PS… I apologize for referring to the girl in my example as “the blind girl”. This was in no way intended to go against my advice and place a label on her. I don’t like to name names in my stories and it was simply a method of differentiating her in the story for clarification purposes only.