I guess in the big scheme of things, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. To me, it was a very big deal. You see, I embarrassed easily. Well, maybe not easily, but when it comes to myself and being self-conscious… It's definitely not difficult to embarrass myself
I was out at the store with Princess and peanut. Peanut was in the stroller as always. I was behind pushing, while Princess, was leaving. She does a very good job at this. For the most part, she always has my back. Never letting me run into anything. Or at least, not laughing very hard when I do. So sidenote… I just noticed while listening back to what I dictated that there was an error princess was not leaving anywhere. She was Leedean the stroller. Dang it! It just aired again so, I will change the word entirely. Princess was guiding the stroller. … Much better… Stupid talking software!
Anyway, it was all going really well. I had run into anything, not anything over, or made any sort of blunder whatsoever. When out of nowhere, I feel something thing against my shoulder and biceps on the right side. It didn't hurt or anything, but it did feel as though I ran into a person. I was instantly embarrassed. I always feel bad when this happens. This is mostly because the general seeing public, doesn't look at me as though I am a blind person. When I run into them, they look at me as a rude, obnoxious, awful person. None of which is true of course. They however, do not see it that way.
So as I feel my face flame up with fire engine red mortification, I whisper in a rush to princess. Quotation mark was that a person quotation mark
She looks back, and with just as much emphasis says, quotation mark crap, no, that was a display of towels. Quotation mark
At that moment, my heart fell a little. I hate when I make any type of mess in public. Well it's also a problem when you draw attention to yourself that is completely unnecessary. Some people might not mind this. I am not that person. I quickly and as efficiently as my blind self could manage, tried to pick up all of the packs of towels. You see, these were packs of five full-size towels that were twined together. Process and Little Miss peanut did their best to help. Peanut had three stacks in her arms that made it up past her head. She kept trying to get my attention while I was busy cleaning my own pile. It was hard to hear her through them muffled block of towels.
No one that I am aware of ever came into the aisle. I did hear some voices close by. I kept waiting for one of them to come and see the debacle in the towel I'll.
Princess was having a hell of a time loading the fallen towels back onto the display where they came from. She said that they Wombling. She just knew they were going to fall again. A crossed the aisle from her, there was a shopping cart with a few of the Powell packs inside. Who ever had been building the display must not have had time to finish. Princesse decided we would just put the falling debris into the cart. I didn't like leaving a mess for the unfortunate employee. If said employee happens to be reading this post, I am very sorry for making your work a little bit harder yesterday.
I know I shouldn't be embarrassed. It technically wasn't my fault. It wasn't as though I saw the towels and said to myself self, I am going to knock over those towels because it is fun!
Even still, I find myself feeling guilty. I guess I still haven't gotten used to with the blind blunders that have become a normal part of my every day life. I am getting better at laughing at them after the fact. In the moment however, I am still more to mortified
It is very important to learn that it is okay to laugh at a mistake. We all make them, whether we can see or not. It is how we handle them after the fact that really counts.